In this case, you might have said, "Oh! Surely you don't think I'm that mean-spirited!" and changed the subject. The equivalent: "I do not share your sentiment" is a handy all-purpose disclaimer for offensive or prejudiced statements.
Miss Manners suggests that if you wish to decline an invitation, it must be done thoughtfully. A letter is more appropriate than a text to convey your regrets without harm.
If you don't want to suggest agreement with hateful comments, it's important to convey your disapproval more clearly and seek better company afterward.
When faced with disparaging remarks, a simple expression like "Ouch!" followed by changing the subject indicates discomfort, but expressing disagreement more directly can be more effective.
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