Miss Manners addresses various scenarios where individuals awkwardly communicate discomfort or uncertainty, suggesting that sometimes silence is more appropriate. Instances included a daughter learning her mother ate the dinner prepared for her and a friend feeling left out despite receiving uninvited news about a tea party. Also discussed was a chemotherapy patient encountering unsolicited advice about her health that was dismissive of her concerns. The article reflects on the social pressures leading to such remarks and the challenges of navigating sensitivity in conversations, especially regarding health and invitations.
In both instances, it would've been better if nothing had been said. I would've been none the wiser. What would Miss Manners have said? GENTLE READER: I'm thinking about thanking you, but I probably won't.
People feel they must say something, even to the extent of monitoring one's number of bathroom trips. But Miss Manners acknowledges that there is also the less blameworthy impulse to offer comfort not just sympathy when there is no real comfort to be offered.
When I returned to the table the second time, one of the people asked me, Do you have a problem? Really! What is wrong with people?
Some relatives and I were told of a baby shower for a distant cousin. No formal invitations were sent; we were invited by word of mouth and received a gift registry link by text message.
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