"Without really thinking, I replied, 'It costs energy. And she's tired.' And then I heard myself. I wasn't really talking about her mom. I was talking about me. I was tired. As my friend continued talking and adding more context, I felt the realization land. I could see how much of myself I had projected onto her story."
"I want to stay inside myself. Sometimes I'm short with a customer service representative on the phone-not because they've done anything wrong, but because I don't have the capacity for the emotional padding. The small talk. The softening meant to help me take a "no" more easily. I don't want to be buttered up. I want the information. I want to be done."
Many people are emotionally exhausted and conserve energy by avoiding small talk, eye contact, and extra social padding. Caretaking roles and constant emotional labor deplete reserves, making cordial social exchanges feel costly. Interactions like softening a refusal or comforting small talk require emotional padding that may not be available. Recognizing energy as a finite commodity allows people to set boundaries, prioritize direct communication, and stop feeling guilty for withdrawing. Rest, replenishment, and self-compassion help restore capacity and enable more meaningful engagement when energy levels permit.
Read at Tiny Buddha
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