The Power I Now Carry Because of My Illness - Tiny Buddha

"For years, I thought strength meant pushing through. Getting on with it. Holding it together no matter what. Not showing weakness. Not needing help. Not slowing down. Even when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness, I wore that mindset like armor. I was determined not to let it define me-let alone derail me. But eventually, it did. Not because I was weak. But because I was human. And that was the beginning of a different kind of strength."

"I was thirty-two when I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. It's a chronic inflammatory condition that can be painful, unpredictable, and exhausting. There is no cure. At the time, I had three young kids and a to-do list longer than my arm. I was busy, stretched thin, and moving fast-chasing achievement like it could protect me from everything uncertain. The diagnosis didn't land like a crisis. It landed more like an inconvenience."

"I started medication, but the side effects were rough, and the results were inconsistent. I quickly became obsessed with finding the "right" diet, the "right" routine, the "right" alternative therapy to manage it all myself. Looking back, I can see that control was my coping mechanism. Control over my body. Control over the narrative. I didn't want to be "someone with a chronic illness." I wanted to be someone who could handle a chronic illness and still perform at a high level."

Diagnosis occurred at thirty-two: Crohn's Disease, a chronic inflammatory condition that can be painful, unpredictable, and exhausting, with no cure. At the time, three young children and an overwhelming to-do list made illness feel like an inconvenience rather than a crisis. Medication began but side effects were rough and outcomes inconsistent. An obsessive search for the "right" diet, routine, and alternative therapies followed. Control became the primary coping mechanism—over body and narrative. A conscious decision was made to stop medication and double down on diet and routines in an effort to manage the condition independently.

Read at Tiny Buddha