"It's not at all an uncommon experience to be deeply caring and understanding, and yet struggle deeply to apply that same kindness inward. You might view self-compassion as a lower-order priority compared to being outwardly kind and generous; you might even think that you simply don't deserve it as much as your friends and family. However, when you refrain from extending yourself the kindness that you readily give to others, you deprive your own well-being in ways that research shows are vitally important."
"Self-criticism is one of the primary reasons people struggle to be compassionate to themselves. For instance, should a friend or family member need support after making a mistake, you likely wouldn't have any difficulty in using comforting, patient tones in order to console them. You'd tell them not to be too hard on themselves and remind them that everybody makes mistakes sometimes. However, if that mistake was your own, your internal monologue might be much sharper, as well as far less forgiving."
Many people are kinder and more understanding toward others than toward themselves. Self-criticism often causes harsher inner voices that would never be used with friends or family. Self-compassion correlates with better well-being, including lower depression and greater positive emotions. People who lack self-compassion tend to prioritize others' needs at their own expense, overworking, ignoring boundaries, or taking on too much. Habitual self-sacrifice can deplete emotional and physical health. Recognizing harsher self-talk and practicing self-directed kindness, boundary setting, and balanced caregiving can increase self-compassion and improve overall mental and emotional well-being.
Read at Psychology Today
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