Who Am I Now?

"In my work as a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I've supported thousands of people navigating trauma, loss, and mental health challenges. But nothing prepared me for the identity crisis that followed the deaths of three of my children, Johnny, Reggie, and Miah. Each loss shattered something in me, not just emotionally, but existentially. I didn't just lose my children; I lost my sense of self."

"I still remember the quiet that followed Reggie's passing. Not just the emotional silence, but the absence of tasks. No more medications to track. No therapy schedules. No seizures to monitor. My days, once dictated by caregiving, were now empty. The silence was unbearable, not just because of grief, but because I didn't know what to do. My identity had been wrapped around keeping Reggie alive. And now he was gone."

A psychiatric nurse practitioner lost three children, producing a profound identity crisis when caregiving roles disappeared. Daily routines, responsibilities, and tasks that once defined identity — medication management, therapy schedules, seizure monitoring, and constant caregiving — vanished, leaving silence, emptiness, and existential disorientation. Role loss can prompt questions about selfhood and belonging, whether after bereavement, relationship endings, illness, or major life change. Rebuilding identity is framed as integral to recovery, requiring recognition of lost roles, mourning the former self, and intentionally reconstructing meaningful roles, routines, and relationships to restore a coherent sense of self.

Read at Psychology Today