"Fawning is a survival mechanism that develops in response to trauma-a fourth response alongside the better-known fight, flight, and freeze reactions. Psychotherapist Pete Walker defines fawning as "a response to a threat by becoming more appealing to the threat." When we fawn, we mirror others' desires, suppress our own needs, and prioritize external validation to maintain safety. This isn't simply people-pleasing or codependency-it's a physiological trauma response that develops when fight or flight aren't viable options."
"For some fawners, it's hard to identify their fawning because they're just "meeting expectations" and in that context, fawning looks an awful lot like success. We pursue these paths, in part, because success is safety. It's a shield. It brings us titles and money and all the things. At least that's what we are told and sold. Working at a law firm is the perfect environment for a compulsive fawner."
Fawning is a trauma-driven survival response characterized by mirroring others, suppressing personal needs, and prioritizing external approval to maintain safety. It arises when fight or flight are unavailable and functions physiologically rather than merely as people-pleasing. In hierarchical workplaces, fawning can resemble success because compliance yields titles, money, and stability, reinforcing self-abandonment. Legal firms exemplify environments that reward fawning through clear hierarchies and billing-driven cultures. Case example: a high-achieving law partner named Anthony displayed deep loyalty and warmth while avoiding conflict to secure financial stability, illustrating how professional success can mask trauma-driven self-negation.
Read at Fast Company
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