#trauma-response

#trauma-response

The behavior has gained cultural visibility. On TikTok, the hashtag "hyper-independence" has racked up millions of views in videos tagged "hyper-independence is a trauma response" and "signs of hyper-independence." For many viewers, the content is striking because they assumed this was simply how success was achieved, not a survival strategy with hidden costs. That viral visibility makes it even more important for workplaces to recognize the pattern and promote healthier interdependence, rather than rewarding the unsustainable behaviors it reinforces.

When someone has had an experience or series of experiences wherein they were powerless, that sense of helplessness can get stamped onto their perceptions. Psychologists have known this for decades. As early as 1967, an experiment subjected dogs to repeated shocks in such a way that the dogs could not predict when they would be shocked (Overmier and Seligman, 1967). Over time, the creatures simply accepted the shocks and became docile.

People-pleasing is not a personality trait. It is part of the trauma response known as fawning. Although it can be a useful mechanism at times, existing in a state of fawning leads to exhaustion and losing touch with oneself: who you are, what you want, and what you need. To heal, it is necessary to learn how to focus less on what other people think for the sake of rediscovering who you are.