The article depicts the harrowing experiences of a Palestinian in Gaza during a dire 15-month period of violence that escalates to genocidal levels. It highlights the use of self-deception as a coping strategy to endure the trauma of repeated wars and displacements. The author shares personal insights about fear, familial bonds, and the desperate hope for change amidst relentless suffering. Reflecting on the cyclical nature of violence, the narrative emphasizes the struggle between the will to live and the agony of ongoing conflict.
I survived by dropping the f in life and holding on to lie. The more I lied to myself, the more I sustained my fragile existence.
I chose to tell my mother and myself the truth: that this was going to be the final episode of our miserable lives.
I hugged my mother when she burst out crying as Israeli fighter jets indiscriminately pounded the whole of Gaza.
When Israel forcibly displaced me, I told myself that it would be just a couple of days and I would return.
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