Perfectionists have a complex relationship with shame, where they fear it and yet see it as a necessary tool in their quest for unattainable perfection. They often regard feelings of shame as something to be controlled or turned into a source of motivation, rather than allowed to exist or be explored. This approach can hinder personal growth. To effectively deal with shame, perfectionists must learn to acknowledge and understand it, rather than dismissing it as a waste of time or a useless emotion, which can lead to deeper emotional problems.
Shame often feels unbearable, leading perfectionists to compulsively pursue unattainable standards as a means to eliminate it, yet learning to coexist with shame is crucial.
Perfectionists frequently question the purpose of addressing their shame, perceiving it as a hindrance in their pursuit of perfection rather than an opportunity for growth.
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