"Yesterday I scheduled a meeting crammed right up next to my dentist appointment. If you were in my head, you would've heard: I know that meeting is going to go over. There's no way I'll get to the dentist on time. On the text stream, you would've read: "Sure, Monday at 3:30 works great! See you then!" Exclamation points always make you sound confident and cheery."
"The dentist is loaded for me. If you've been following me, you know I've been open about my relapses into disordered eating. Every time the dentist opens my mouth, it feels like he's opening a stall door to my worst moments-purging, crying, praying. When he scrapes, I feel the digging up of my shame, my piles of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup wrappers."
Self-abandonment often appears as scheduling conflicts, skipping self-care, people-pleasing, and prioritizing others over personal needs. Avoidance of discomfort, such as delaying difficult appointments or hiding triggers, compounds shame and allows problems to grow. Recovery and lasting self-trust require confronting uncomfortable emotions instead of arranging life around anxiety. Awareness of small patterns like eating at a desk, canceling therapy, or saying yes when meaning no is the first step toward change. Practicing small, daily acts of self-loyalty rebuilds integrity and inner alignment. Consistent, incremental self-care choices restore trust in oneself and prevent escalation of harm.
Read at Psychology Today
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