How to Reset a Low-Self-Worth Default

"Struggling with low self-esteem means you likely have a default mental state. So, when you aren't doing a task, connecting with people around you, or focused in some way, your brain defaults to thinking about your perceived failures, setbacks, how others may or may not see you, ways you are different, or how you may be found out as not good enough. This default state primes the pump, so when you hit a slight or setback-in the moment-you immediately feel triggered and upset with yourself."

"Recognize the bigger picture. Instead of letting yourself get absorbed into specific worries or scenarios, pan the lens and recognize how long you've beat up on yourself and how much time you have wasted making yourself feel bad about events that pass without consequence beyond making yourself feel bad. It was hardly worth all of that emotional energy, right? Set limits on overthinking spirals."

Low self-esteem frequently operates as an unconscious negative internal dialogue that becomes the brain's default when attention lapses. That default cycles through perceived failures, differences, and fears of being discovered as not good enough, which amplifies emotional reactions to minor setbacks. Deliberate awareness—catching the negative self-talk and forcing a different default—can change neural patterns and create a new, kinder way of relating to oneself. Practical steps include recognizing the long-term cost of self-criticism, setting limits on overthinking spirals, committing to intercepting negative thoughts, and intentionally practicing a more positive internal dialogue.

Read at Psychology Today