How to Calm Anxiety That's Rooted in Childhood Wounds - Tiny Buddha

"For years, I didn't even know what it was. I just knew the pounding heart, the tight chest, the trembling hands. I knew the shame that followed every "failure," big or small, and the fear I would never be enough. For a long time, I thought I was the problem. But anxiety isn't a moral failing. It's a part of me-a part that learned to survive in environments where my emotional needs weren't met, where fear and shame felt louder than safety."

"I was in first grade when I brought home my school report card and saw that I ranked seventh in my class. At that age, I didn't know if that was good or bad. I was just excited to tell my dad. When he came to pick me up, I smiled and shared the news innocently. Instead of a hug or encouragement, his eyes glared at me. His sharp, aggressive tone cut through me as he shouted, "It's bad!" Looking back, I can see his reaction came from fear-that my performance might limit my future and that shaming me would push me to improve. But as a child, I couldn't see that. I felt shocked and humiliated. My small body trembled, and my younger brain concluded: "I'm only worthy of love if I perform better.""

Anxiety arose from early experiences of shaming and unmet emotional needs that conditioned the nervous system to prioritize protection. Physical symptoms included a pounding heart, tight chest, and trembling hands, paired with persistent shame and the belief of never being enough. Childhood humiliation around academic performance created a conditional-worth belief tied to achievement and brief relief from success followed rapidly by renewed fear. The pattern of self-protection and hypervigilance continued into adulthood, shaping behavior, relationships, and responses to stress without indicating moral failure.

Read at Tiny Buddha