"Fawning is an instinctive reaction to threat, alongside fight, flight, and freeze. Fawning is sometimes considered "the invisible trauma response" because it often manifests as politeness, helpfulness, or compliance. Even when we can spot it, it rarely appears problematic. We love it when people bend over backward to make us more comfortable! Unfortunately, fawning creates just as many problems as fight, flight, and freeze do. In fact, when it's not addressed, fawning can lead to anxiety, depression, unsatisfying relationships, and self-abandonment."
"Fawning is a reflex to please and appease. Instead of fighting or fleeing, we overadapt to avoid potential conflict, rejection, or harm. Fawning strives to maintain harmony at all costs, even when we have to abandon our own needs to accomplish such peace with others. In contrast to fight, flight, and freeze, fawning is prosocial, leading those around us to view us as cooperative and compliant."
Fawning is an instinctual threat response alongside fight, flight, and freeze that aims to defuse danger by pleasing and appeasing others. It appears as politeness, helpfulness, compliance, people-pleasing, minimizing personal needs, excessive apologizing, mood mirroring, difficulty saying no, boundary avoidance, anxiety when others are upset, and loss of personal preferences. Social rewards for being accommodating reinforce fawning, causing it to persist. Chronic fawning undermines selfhood, leading to self-alienation, anxiety, depression, and unsatisfying relationships. Recovery requires recognizing fawning patterns, reclaiming personal needs, practicing boundaries, and seeking support to heal long-term impacts.
Read at Psychology Today
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