In relationships, criticism often leads to defensiveness, escalating conflict. As a couples therapist, I recommend using the phrase "Tell me more" to invite curiosity rather than defensiveness in these situations. This approach helps partners clarify their feelings and encourages presence, which is crucial for empathy. Research by Brené Brown highlights that true empathy comes from understanding one's partner's perspective. Additionally, John Gottman's findings suggest that successful couples frequently engage in bids for connection, turning potential conflicts into opportunities for deeper understanding and unity.
"True empathy requires presence and understanding, which can help couples navigate conflicts by focusing on feelings rather than defensiveness."
"Using curiosity allows partners to engage rather than retreat into conflict, transforming moments of disagreement into opportunities for connection."
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