3 Ways Trauma Therapy May Lead to Family Estrangement

"It's common for trauma therapy and chosen family estrangement to go hand-in-hand. Some trauma survivors begin therapy already estranged from family; others choose estrangement during or after treatment. Estrangement may be brief, longer term, or permanent. Regardless of duration, trauma therapists often work with survivors who choose estrangement so frequently that anti-estrangement advocates often claim therapy causes estrangement."

"This allegation isn't true, as the goal of trauma therapy is to treat trauma, not to initiate family estrangement. Yet, trauma therapy also does not seek to end estrangements or prevent them from occurring. In fact, several aspects of trauma treatment naturally support survivors in making decisions, including family estrangement, that prioritize their safety and well-being."

"Trauma survivors often feel unsafe, even when no immediate danger exists. One of the most vital aspects of trauma therapy is helping survivors to assess their safety in the present, recognize when safety is threatened, and respond in ways that promote their safety. When survivors progress in trauma therapy, they are more likely to be able to distinguish between safe and unsafe relationships."

Survivors who can identify unsafe relationships can choose relationships that promote their safety. Survivors who have self-worth often prioritize relationships that support their worth. Survivors who can gauge the value of their relationships may choose more valuable relationships. Trauma therapy seeks to treat trauma rather than to initiate family estrangement. Trauma therapy does not aim to end or prevent estrangements but supports survivor decision-making that prioritizes safety and well-being. Trauma therapy helps survivors assess present safety, recognize threats, and respond in safety-promoting ways. Progress in trauma therapy increases ability to distinguish between safe and unsafe relationships, sometimes leading to estrangement when relationships remain harmful.

Read at Psychology Today