My Evening Depression Beauty Routine
Briefly

"Beauty routines, believe it or not, start with what you put in your body. Drink a lot of water during the day in order to keep your skin hydrated and bright. However, I personally recommend a litre of Coke Zero, preferably flat...you would rather drink warm soda. Hold your pee for outrageous periods of time for added self-inflicted punishment."
"Evening skin care is important, but before I get to it, I always tie my hair back, to keep it dry and out of the way. My favorite hair tie is a rubber band I took off asparagus that I bought at the farmers' market three weeks ago...I haven't thrown the rubber band away yet. I'm just not ready."
"Removing your makeup is key, as it keeps pimples at bay. I like Cucumber-Melon Mist Makeup Wipes, but if they aren't available I like to sleep in the same makeup for three or four nights...Sleep on the opposite pillow and stare at your mascara stains to feel like you are still next to a warm body that loves you back."
Read at The New Yorker
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