The narrator faces shock upon stepping on a malfunctioning bathroom scale, believing he has successfully lost 20 pounds. Inspired by the scale's reading, he humorously critiques his appearance and relationship with his barber. The narrator recounts a lighthearted but contentious moment with his wife over a social media post. Despite strange dynamics in their marriage, including moments of distance and their financial issues related to refugee sponsorship, they maintain an optimistic outlook on hospitality and familial bonds.
I stepped on my bathroom scale the other morning and could not believe the three digits staring up at me. I know this because I've been dieting my butt off, and I swear I've dropped 20 pounds. So the first thing I did was ask my wife whether she messed with the scale as some kind of prank.
I've got more hair than that. Everybody knows it, and people comment on it. I go onto social media and people are asking one another almost every day: 'How does he maintain such a full mane and youthful glow?'
People ask us what the secret is [to our perfect marriage], and I say it's hospitality. We open our hearts and our home to others, and we were planning on building a backyard ballroom until our financial advisor told us we were already running up massive debt.
I sued [my financial advisor] for negligence and financial fraud. My wife brought home a couple of refugees sponsored by her church, and I went along with it, even though I think it's wrong to blame coyotes every time a neighborhood pet disappears.
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