I couldn't handle the sensations of motherhood. My body was a too-tight guitar string, ready to snap at any moment. I did, at least once a week for two years.
The constant climbing and pawing. The need to bounce and rock. The crying, the lack of sleep... I could barely hear her over the static in my head.
I closed my eyes. Focus on your breath... I remembered Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love and her successful meditation at an ashram.
Just tune it out! I shouted at myself. Where was my euphoria? I imagined a bubble surrounding my body, protecting me from the sound.
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