Your wife may see doing nothing as akin to not rocking the boat. But, in your marriage, it has the opposite effect. There's a hole in the hull of your relationship and water is pouring in. If she's not actively working on plugging the hole and bailing the water, she's resigned herself to letting it sink. It's possible you and your wife are more misaligned than you think.
Find out what she really wants. To do this, bring some questions to mediation. What are our joint and individual plans for repair? Are we committed to taking the necessary steps? The second question is a yes or no. There is no not right now. The rising water.
There's probably some reluctance to hurt each other by pushing, one way or another. But being stuck where you are is harmful to both of you, and ultimately, to your children.
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