Your friends will choose sides, even if you don't ask them to. Some of the people that you thought were closer to you will choose your ex. It will hurt and be confusing, but ultimately, you will be better off without those people in your life. Couples therapy doesn't help anything if either partner is unwilling to take accountability for their actions or make a real effort to change.
Personal note: I was surprised to learn that I was lovable and attractive to other people. By the time my marriage ended, my self-esteem was so low that I truly didn't believe I could find someone who would love me and I thought I'd be better off in a loveless marriage. Lots of therapy and eight years later, I no longer feel this way, but boy it was hard to get over.
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