#people-pleasing
#people-pleasing
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#boundaries #mental-health #relationships #self-care #personal-growth #self-identity #burnout #perfectionism
#mental-health
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoThere's a specific exhaustion that belongs to people who spent decades being exactly what everyone needed them to be - and then one day realized they couldn't remember what they needed - Silicon Canals
People-pleasing leads to losing one's identity and can result in profound exhaustion and disconnection from self.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 days agoThere's a specific kind of person who apologizes for things that weren't their fault, and it isn't low self-esteem. It's a preemptive fee they learned to pay to keep situations from escalating into something worse - Silicon Canals
Apologies can serve as a preemptive tool to de-escalate potential conflict, rather than solely indicating low self-esteem.
#burnout
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoI'm 66 and I've realized that there's a specific kind of exhaustion that belongs to people who spent four decades being the one who always said yes - it doesn't show up as burnout, it shows up as a faint feeling that your life belongs to everyone except you - Silicon Canals
Burnout stems from a lack of personal agency, not just exhaustion from overcommitment.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoI'm 66 and I've realized that there's a specific kind of exhaustion that belongs to people who spent four decades being the one who always said yes - it doesn't show up as burnout, it shows up as a faint feeling that your life belongs to everyone except you - Silicon Canals
Burnout stems from a lack of personal agency, not just exhaustion from overcommitment.
Mindfulness
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThere are two types of tired. There's the kind where sleep fixes it. And there's the kind where you've been agreeable for so long that you don't know what your own opinions sound like unedited and the fatigue is existential and no amount of rest touches it because rest isn't the deficit - Silicon Canals
Soul tiredness stems from the exhaustion of constantly filtering oneself and prioritizing peace over authenticity.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
1 week agoThere's a kind of adult who can walk into any social situation and make everyone feel comfortable but cannot name a single thing they actually want for dinner. The skill and the deficit come from the same place. - Silicon Canals
Social grace often masks a lack of self-awareness, as those skilled in reading others may struggle to understand their own needs.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 weeks agoNobody warns you that when you stop caring what everyone thinks, you also discover which of your relationships were held together entirely by your willingness to be whoever the other person needed - Silicon Canals
Stopping people-pleasing leads to a necessary audit of relationships, revealing which ones are genuine and which are based on expectations.
#boundaries
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoPsychology says the reason walking away from disrespectful people feels like guilt instead of freedom is because you were raised in an environment where your comfort was never a valid reason to make someone else uncomfortable - and unlearning that equation is the hardest boundary work there is - Silicon Canals
Walking away from disrespectful relationships is essential for personal peace, despite feelings of guilt rooted in past conditioning.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoPsychology says the reason walking away from disrespectful people feels like guilt instead of freedom is because you were raised in an environment where your comfort was never a valid reason to make someone else uncomfortable - and unlearning that equation is the hardest boundary work there is - Silicon Canals
Walking away from disrespectful relationships is essential for personal peace, despite feelings of guilt rooted in past conditioning.
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
3 weeks agoPsychology says the worst part of people-pleasing isn't the exhaustion - it's realizing that no one actually knows you because you never gave them the real version - Silicon Canals
People-pleasing leads to exhaustion and prevents genuine intimacy, as it creates a façade that others connect with instead of the true self.
fromTiny Buddha
2 months agoHow to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed by Other People's Strong Emotions - Tiny Buddha
Some years ago, I was talking to my husband on the phone. He sounded annoyed about something to do with his work, but I noticed an intense emotional reaction in myself. Immediately, my heart contracted and my stomach lurched. I could feel a runaway train of emotions activate within me. My whole body was awash with nausea, and I felt so very uncomfortable.
Mindfulness
Psychology
fromSilicon Canals
2 months agoIf you were the 'good kid' growing up, psychology says these 7 habits are quietly ruining your happiness in adultohood - Silicon Canals
Childhood 'good kid' behaviors—seeking approval, avoiding conflict, and people-pleasing—can persist into adulthood and undermine happiness, autonomy, and decision-making.
Mental health
fromSilicon Canals
2 months agoIf you grew up during the era of "children should be seen and not heard" you probably display these 8 behaviors as an adult - Silicon Canals
Childhood suppression of expression teaches chronic people-pleasing behaviors, like excessive apologizing, that persist into adulthood and undermine self-worth and assertiveness.
#fawn-response
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
10 months agoWhy You Always Say Yes
People-pleasing is rooted in the fawn response to stress learned during childhood for safety.
Fawning helped our ancestors survive by maintaining group harmony, but may hinder personal boundaries today.
Recognizing fawning patterns is essential for improving self-worth and relationship dynamics.
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
10 months agoWhy You Always Say Yes
People-pleasing is rooted in the fawn response to stress learned during childhood for safety.
Fawning helped our ancestors survive by maintaining group harmony, but may hinder personal boundaries today.
Recognizing fawning patterns is essential for improving self-worth and relationship dynamics.
fromPsychology Today
4 months agoIs Overgiving Affecting Your Health and Relationships?
Overgiving can be defined as a relationship that has become so unhealthily enmeshed that people lose their individual strength and autonomy. Typically, a person with these types of traits feels overly responsible for others and picks up the slack in relationships and at work. They want everyone to be happy, so they go overboard and become people pleasers and peacemakers in their relationships. They have difficulty asserting their own needs for fear of rejection or disapproval.
Relationships
Books
fromwww.theguardian.com
6 months agoLook out for number one! Selfish self-help books are booming but will they improve your life?
Self-help trends promote radical self-prioritization, encouraging people to reject people-pleasing and therapeutic fawning to reclaim personal thoughts, needs, and agency.
fromTiny Buddha
7 months agoWhat If Growth Is About Removing, Not Adding More to Your Life? - Tiny Buddha
I'd look for something new to take on: a class, a language, a project, a degree. Once, in the span of a single week, I signed up for language classes, researched getting certified in something I didn't actually want to do, and convinced myself I needed to start training for a 10K. Because if I was doing something productive, I wouldn't have to sit with what I was feeling. That was the pattern: uncomfortable emotion → frantic pursuit of something "more."
Mental health
Parenting
fromPsychology Today
10 months agoPeople-Pleasing in a Polarized Society
People-pleasing arises from a desire for connection but sacrifices personal authenticity.
Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining self-identity in polarized environments.
To overcome people-pleasing, pause and differentiate between disagreement and rejection.
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