Steve messed up all the time, his wife said, because he's "sloppy," and, truth be told, "stupid." A few years into their marriage, words like "always" and "never" entered the mix. He "always fucked up." He could "never be trusted" - even to fill out a simple form, and certainly not to spend money without her approval. Steve was told he misjudged people and that he needed his wife to tell him what to say so that everyone wouldn't hate him.
People want to understand how and why women experience violence at the hands of people who claim to love them, and they want to know what women can do when they've experienced these atrocities. They want a window into making sense of an experience, either because it's so seemingly foreign or so altogether disturbingly familiar as to resemble their own. This is why we often crave insight into others' perceptions of their own lives as well as their perceptions of others' reactions.