#coercive-control

#coercive-control

My mom joined a religious cult when I was about 8 years old. I wasn't buying their shit even as a child and was not going to let them drag me in. I was still around for a couple of years and saw everything that was going on. She's still in it today, over 30 years later. My uncle is there, and two cousins. One cousin got out/was kicked out and has been out for about 15 years.

When people hear the words domestic violence they usually think of intimate partner violence, but there is another form of domestic violence that's just as real and often just as dangerous, although few want to talk about it: Parents who are abused and sometimes killed by their own children. This is called filial domestic violence. In my work, it's not rare and it's not mild.

While speaking at the Wood Quay Venue during the launch of Women's Aid's new Centre for Learning and Practice Development this morning, she said gender-based violence is an "affront to human dignity, equality, and the fundamental right of every person to live safely and freely". Last year, Women's Aid's services were contacted over 32,000 times, which is a 12pc increase on the year prior and the highest number in its 51-year history.

Former police officer and convicted sex offender David Carrick has been sentenced at the Old Bailey to life with a minimum of 30 years for molesting a 12-year-old girl and raping a former partner. Carrick, 50, who served as an armed officer in the Metropolitan police, sexually assaulted the child in the late 1980s, his trial heard. More than 20 years later, he repeatedly raped a woman and subjected her to degrading and humiliating abuse during the course of a toxic relationship.

Now, a new book details the campaign of coercive control waged against the late Tina Satchwell, and the deep extent of his manipulation. 'Beneath the Stairs' written by Paul Byrne and Ralph Riegel details the sheer cruelty of convicted killer Richard Satchwell and features extensive interviews conducted with Satchwell after his wife went missing in 2017, as he tried to portray himself as a victim and claimed she had run off with €26,000 of their life savings.

He'd make things up that didn't happen. Then he'd get angry when questioned, as if remembering was an attack on him. Every time she brought up something he did wrong, suddenly the conversation became about her mental health, her past trauma, her inability to let things go. She started writing everything down because she couldn't trust her own memory anymore. When he found her journal, he said it proved she was paranoid.

Steve messed up all the time, his wife said, because he's "sloppy," and, truth be told, "stupid." A few years into their marriage, words like "always" and "never" entered the mix. He "always fucked up." He could "never be trusted" - even to fill out a simple form, and certainly not to spend money without her approval. Steve was told he misjudged people and that he needed his wife to tell him what to say so that everyone wouldn't hate him.

Now in his forties, Nico stays connected to his parents through calls and support... But he hasn't visited in years. "If I talk about the pain, it might bleed too much," he said.