#family-expectations

#family-expectations

The man I was supposed to marry was someone I had known since childhood - five years older, from a wealthy Sikh family, my sister's classmate, living on the 14th floor of our high-rise building in Mumbai. He was my first crush. When I was 12, with oily braids and Coke-bottle glasses, I thought he was handsome and charming. I spent hours imagining what it would be like if he chose me.

This entire year has been a struggle for me. I'm a freelancer, and business is down dramatically. I can hardly pay my bills. I rarely talk about it, but the holidays are approaching, and I cannot show up the way I usually do with gifts for everyone. I barely have the cash to get to my hometown to be with the family. The thing is, everyone thinks of me as the successful one, the one who moved to the big city and made it.

For cross-cultural marriages, traditions from both backgrounds often dictate aspects such as wedding ceremonies, gender roles, career ambitions, and family dynamics. As a result, couples frequently navigate differences in expectations and traditions to foster their foundation. This blending of traditions necessitates ongoing negotiation and compromise. Partners learn to recognize which aspects of their respective cultures are most meaningful and decide together how to integrate (or adapt) them within their shared lives.

I always envisioned my wedding being an intimate affair, with my son walking me down the aisle, as I wanted it to reflect both our desires.