"The man I was supposed to marry was someone I had known since childhood - five years older, from a wealthy Sikh family, my sister's classmate, living on the 14th floor of our high-rise building in Mumbai. He was my first crush. When I was 12, with oily braids and Coke-bottle glasses, I thought he was handsome and charming. I spent hours imagining what it would be like if he chose me."
"From my window on the second floor, I could see his car pull into the garage at 3 a.m., night after night, with a different girl in the passenger seat. While his parents were away at their hill station retreat, he was encouraged to "get his experience." I, meanwhile, was expected to safeguard my virginity and reputation. The double standard was a cage I began to feel closing in around me."
"My parents supported me going to the U.S. because my husband-to-be was headed to Harvard Business School. They thought it would give us a chance to "get to know each other." Their plan was clear: I would study, he would take responsibility for me, and within a few months, he would propose and I would return home to India to be married to him."
A 19-year-old left home with one suitcase and a visa that carried a two-year expectation tied to family plans. Family members believed the move to the United States was for education, while the real motive was escape from an arranged marriage and restrictive expectations. The intended husband was a childhood crush who proved unfaithful, revealing a stark gendered double standard. Parents supported the U.S. plan because the man was headed to Harvard Business School and they expected a brief courtship before marriage. The visa and family plan imposed a clear timeline and pressure on her future choices.
Read at HuffPost
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