Mysterious mental misfires are not random and, in many cases, predictable and avoidable. Once you understand the neuroscience behind these common tasks, the confusion evaporates, and you can avoid the self-doubt and humiliation that often come from what we sometimes conclude are examples of individual stupidity. What appears to be a personal flaw is actually just your ancient brain navigating a modern world.
The difficulties we encounter are frequently the result of self-sabotage, and managing them often requires wrestling with our own drives, doing our best not to give in to every impulse. This is easier said than done, of course. To lose weight and keep it off, to successfully climb out of debt, to find meaningful work, to maintain long-term, happy relationships: all demand postponing our immediate desires in the service of a longer-term goal.
We've all had rough days when nothing goes right, and we think, "Why does this always happen to me?" That thought feels awful, but oddly comforting. Self-pity is an emotional state we love to hate. We know that it stalls growth and recognize that it doesn't make us more likable, and yet many of us find ourselves stuck in its grip. Here are six reasons that help explain why it develops and why it's so hard to overcome.