Drinking first was about anxiety. I've had this terrible social anxiety and that helped me get through it. He said he started drinking in his teenage years after the death of his father and then in my adult life, I couldn't stop. I wasn't drinking to be convivial. I was on my own in the pub. That was really hard and very hard for my ex-wife and people around me.
For many people, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is synonymous with sobriety from substances. The 12-step model has helped millions around the world, and I have deep respect for the freedom it has given so many-including friends, clients, and people I love. But 12-steps isn't the only way. And it wasn't my way. I didn't get sober through AA. My path looked different,
I visited the hospital regularly, bringing cookies and offering support to his girlfriend, who is also in the program. During my last visit, I unknowingly arrived at the exact moment doctors began withdrawing life support. I had no idea it was going to happen and witnessed the kind of raw grief that comes in moments like that. Afterward, I hugged his girlfriend and quietly left.