Why Some Balk at Surrendering in Recovery from Addiction

Surrender can feel disempowering because it implies giving up control involuntarily and turning one’s will over to a higher power. The idea can suggest punishment, confinement, and powerlessness, which can make recovery seem impossible for some people. Renouncing offers an alternative by requiring conscious attention and engagement. Renouncing involves disavowing beliefs and actions and no longer pledging allegiance to them. It also adopts a new moral stance toward oneself by stating that certain beliefs, values, attitudes, or actions no longer belong. Renunciation includes a built-in moral dimension because it commits to acting differently in the future.

"The idea of surrender can seem disempowering, especially if you are supposed to turn your will and your life over to the care of a higher power. If surrender is necessary for recovering, some people may believe, then recovery is impossible for them. The term surrender seems to imply giving something up involuntarily, which results in some sort of constraint. People charged with crimes, for example, must surrender to the police. They may then have to surrender their passports as a condition of bail."

"Surrender suggests punishment and confinement, not liberation. Many also bristle at the idea of being powerless. Those who do have power rarely want to give it up. Those who have very little power are understandably nervous about having even less. Since surrendering is so fraught for many, but AA remains one of the primary recovery options available, it's worthwhile thinking of alternatives."

"I prefer the term renounce. Renouncing beliefs and actions is stronger and more morally significant than merely changing them. There is a level of conscious attention and engagement in renouncing in which a person disavows or no longer pledges allegiance to behaviors or views about the world and her place in it. To renounce is to adopt a new moral stance toward one's self."

"When a person renounces something, she is saying something no longer belongs to or is a part of her. She puts down particular beliefs, values, attitudes, or actions. If I renounce some of my past actions, I am saying that I disapprove of them and want no l"

Read at Psychology Today