Why Perfectionists Are Obsessed With Proving Themselves

"Perfectionism is philosophically encapsulated by an existential conviction. Many perfectionists are not only certain of the objective validity of their rigid way of living; they're also emboldened by the sense that their lives have an objective meaning, afforded to them in the way a god may grant his messiah a grand objective. Peers and loved ones question the perfectionist's obsessiveness because its root is often hidden, protected from the slings and arrows of reason. Perfectionism persists in large part because it remains unchallenged."

"One of its significant aspects, in that it occupies a large area of consideration, is the perfectionist's need to prove themself. Staving off criticism by either minimizing their sense of purpose (e.g., saying "I'm not asking for that much") or hiding it altogether, their sense of existential specialness, flimsy and insecure, is bolstered by praise, admiration, and achieved objectives. So, others remain baffled by why perfectionists usually don't allow themselves to rest."

Perfectionism originates from an existential conviction that one's rigid way of living and achievements confer objective specialness and meaning. The perfectionist often hides this belief, protecting it from critique, so the root of obsessive behaviors remains unexamined. A central feature is a compulsive need to prove oneself, using praise and accomplishments to shore up fragile self-worth. Black-and-white thinking frames activity as growth or decay, making rest feel dangerous and prompting ritualized proof-seeking that resembles a spiritual practice. This pattern produces debilitating self-doubt alongside self-worship and elevates risk for mental health struggles. Challenging the perfectionist's core philosophy can reduce existential angst.

Read at Psychology Today