Life provides nothing by obligation; possessions, relationships, and events are gifts from the Universe. Ancient Stoicism frames gratitude as avoiding resentment by accepting one's portion and thanking the host rather than feeling entitled. Modern psychology values gratitude exercises for deepening appreciation and perspective, reducing bitterness. Naikan, a Japanese Buddhist therapy, structures gratitude by focusing intention on a valued person or area of life and asking three questions: what have I received from them, what have I given to them, and what troubles have I caused them. Naikan aims to foster healthier, happier relationships through disciplined self-reflection.
The world doesn't owe us a thing. When we are born, we are born naked and crying, with nothing at all. Everything and anything that happens to us, and everything we own, and everyone we love, are the happy gifts of the Universe - one with zero obligation to give us what we want. This fact underpins one of the most important lessons in ancient Stoicism: gratitude.
For Epictetus, gratitude is a way to avoid being resentful and bitter. He asks us to imagine life as a banquet. The unhappy person is one who looks jealously at other plates or is angry that they are served last. They feel entitled to food, and their ego is so inflated that they feel they're due the greatest portions. But Epictetus tells us to wait our turn and to be thankful for whatever our host provides, because it's more than we had before.
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