I dated a woman while she was engaged to someone else for 2 years. Here's what I learned about being the lover.

Of all the love stories in existence, there was one I never wanted to be part of - an affair, especially if it meant being the other person, the lover. But for two years, I dated a woman who was engaged to another man. I swore I would never find myself in that type of relationship, but it felt like it 'just happened.' I felt powerless to the draw of the toxic relationship.

At first, I was tempted by the chase, and then I was seeking her validation. I wanted to be chosen. I wanted to be loved. Over two years, I became a toxic version of myself that I didn't recognize. But, in the end, I learned that I deserve so much more.

Once I realized I was going to be her lover, I decided to go all in. She became this forbidden thing - something I could not have - so she became all the more attractive to me. The chase was more important than the relationship itself.

I felt the thrill of the chase. We met while getting our master's degrees at a school in New York. At the time, she was already dating someone, but she promised she was going to break up with him. I felt hopeful; I really thought she would leave him to be with me.

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