If I put myself in Ellen's shoes, I can guess that she saw you as a mother and felt hurt and abandoned when you gave up custody of her after her dad's death. She may not understand that this wasn't your choice, or that you weren't allowed to contact her. And it may actually be true that the trauma of that experience and her feelings of betrayal contributed to all the issues she faced down the line.
Now, at this point, she's an adult who is lashing out at you and hoping you're crushed by a house, so you're really not obligated to do anything. You didn't mess up her life, and you don't deserve that kind of attack. But, if you feel tha
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