Dear Abby: Their snubbing of my second wife has gotten out of hand
Briefly

Your parents’ previous decisions about including your ex-wife in family traditions will help clarify whether her invitation to the reunion is appropriate. Context here matters.
Family dynamics after a divorce can be complicated, and while some maintain relationships with ex-spouses, it's crucial to respect the feelings of current family members.
You and your wife are justified in your feelings about her invitation; the shunning from your brothers' wives indicates unresolved tensions that complicate the situation.
If you feel uncomfortable attending the reunion due to your ex-wife’s presence, it’s completely valid to choose to stay home instead.
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