My mom always billed herself as someone who was non-judgmental - she really hung her hat on that - but that's not how she came across to me. I always felt like I was going to be in trouble for something, or that I was wrong, and I was often waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Mom's alcoholism was a constant source of agony for me, and I was always a little skittish and on edge. At home with my mom, on the other hand, I never knew what was going to happen. Plans would change at a moment's notice. So would moods.
Work, even if I knew both the industry and public opinion to be fickle, felt stable in the sense that when you were on set, the space was contained and there were rules by which you had to abide. You and your schedule were always accounted for.
I wanted to protect my own kids from living with feelings of instability, uncertainty or fear, so I built in routine and ritual wherever I could. I encouraged them to be outspoken and opinionated rather than timid. I urged them to express their opinions.
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