"You and your wife have created a home for adults chic, clean, just to your taste. Your son and his wife have a home for a family with kids."
"Think about making different requests of the kids and the adults. Ask your son and daughter-in-law to make sure that the kitchen is cleaned up, or no food leaves the dining room, for instance."
"Don't do this in writing, though. Feels aggressive. A phone call beforehand enlisting their help in setting their kids up to be good stewards of your house will make it a communal effort rather than something they got wrong."
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