Growing up, I had no reference whatsoever for what a healthy relationship looked like. My parents had me as a result of an affair. I spent my childhood with my mother and my stepfather. And both were far from healthy.
I stay behind to clean up the mess and deal with my stepfather's rage. Since he could not aim it at her now, he had no problems aiming it at me, hitting and abusing me my whole childhood.
Because of the abuse and isolation, I was pretty unaware of other family dynamics. Sometimes Brazilian telenovelas were my main source of information.
My mother would bring my hopes down by reminding me that loving relationships like in telenovelas did not happen in real life.
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