Kelly Bundy and Me

"I'd been having these kinds of thoughts for years, and though no one moment can lead to a lifetime's affliction, one incident in particular still weighs heavy on my heart. When I was 8 years old, one of the neighborhood kids poked at my leg and said, 'You're fat.' I can trace my obsession with my appearance to that comment, though so many other factors led me to be predisposed to that terrible Irish illness Ann O'Rexia."

"I was the child who had been surrounded by abuse. I lived in the public eye. I grew up in Los Angeles, a city obsessed with appearance. I craved control in a childhood that had none. All these things made that kid's comment land hard- they were the kindling just waiting for the spark of cruelty."

"So began a lifelong struggle with body image and weight, a horrible relationship with food, and a warped sense of self so bad that I would spend the rest of my life with rampant dysmorphia. I never saw the skinny girl everyone else did. I only ever saw something else."

The speaker began their acting career at age 4, earning money through commercials and television appearances on shows like Family Ties and Charles in Charge. Alongside professional success came significant struggles with body image and eating disorders. Multiple factors contributed to these issues: childhood abuse, living in the public eye, growing up in appearance-obsessed Los Angeles, and a desire for control in an uncontrollable environment. A neighborhood child's comment about weight at age 8 became a pivotal moment, triggering lifelong body dysmorphia and an unhealthy relationship with food. The speaker describes never seeing themselves as others did, instead experiencing persistent distorted self-perception. When casting began for a new television show, the speaker initially rejected the opportunity.

Read at Vulture