One of the unexpected disadvantages to the evolution of leadership, from more autocratic, tyrannic, despotic, and top-down during more nepotistic, plutocratic, violent times, to more democratic, empathetic, considerate, and inclusive in the best of times, is the common tendency to mistake leaders for our friends.
The essence of leadership has not changed in the slightest. It is still about one thing, and one thing only: namely to turn a group of people into a high-performing team, enabling them to temporarily set aside their individualistic agendas and egos, to collaborate effectively toward a valuable common goal. The rest is details.
Though everybody appreciates being liked by their boss, even if such positive estimation is based on personal factors or reasons unrelated to one's actual performance, most people enjoy being managed by someone fair, equitable, and interested in being objective in their evaluation and treatment of others, even if that intent is sometimes inhibited by the inherent subjectivity and bias that characterizes human beings.
Fairness is not treating everybody the same way, but as they each deserve and prefer to be treated. This makes the job of managers and leaders quite challenging. In an age in which organizations push for diversity and inclusion, and managers are tasked with enabling collaboration among people from different backgrounds and walks of life, it is not always intuitive to work out what makes each tick, and how to personalize your leadership style without creating inequities.
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