"Unfortunately, you cannot force someone to be interested in anything. Willingness is a key component to developing interest. My plea for those in this situation is to not overpersonalize the lack of interest shown so far, but instead communicate what you want directly. You are not without options to address this, but there are effective and ineffective ways to handle it."
"What are you actually wanting from your soon-to-be spouse? Is it time sitting down together? Is it having them run interference with the in-laws? Are you concerned they will not like your choices? Ask yourself: What are my hopes and fears? Think of this step as defining your motivations. Then you need to consider how you are asking. Effective communication should draw you together."
"Don't take lack of interest in planning as a lack of interest in your relationship. This is a thinking trap (assumption) that will likely result in resentment. Planning a wedding and being in a relationship are distinct (I promise). Wedding planning can be a large endeavor, and not everyone likes curating events. With all this said, maybe you also are not a huge fan of the labor involved in wedding planning."
Communicate specific needs about wedding planning rather than building silent resentment. Recognize that lack of interest in planning is not necessarily lack of interest in the relationship; wedding planning and relationship involvement are distinct. Define the objective by identifying hopes, fears, and concrete supports desired from the partner. Make requests that are specific and behavioral, such as scheduling time together or delegating tasks. Consider partner willingness and avoid overpersonalizing disinterest. Share responsibility when reasonable and refine asks to draw partners together through effective communication.
Read at Psychology Today
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