"As therapists, we get a front-row seat to the remarkable differences between people who share deep bonds but experience them through completely different lenses. One person feels swallowed whole by affection; the other feels starved without it. Another client once said, "I feel like I'm at the beach being told I'm wrong for wanting to swim in the water. I enjoy connection-it's how I breathe.""
"Over 80 percent of my practice involves people seeking validation-proof that they're not broken for wanting what they want. After 25 years in the field, I've noticed that 'clinginess' and 'emotional unavailability' are like the Grand Canyon and Alaska-beautiful in their own ways, but not exactly next door. You can't build a bridge between them without understanding what acceptance really means."
People experience intimacy differently: some crave closeness while others need personal space. A clingy person is not inherently needy, and someone who values distance is not inherently cold. Most individuals cannot have every emotional need met by a single partner. Clinical caseloads show many people seek validation that their needs are not broken. Radical acceptance, paired with compromise, provides a practical pathway to reconcile divergent relationship styles. Acceptance involves acknowledging reality rather than forcing affection for everything. Mutual understanding, boundary respect, and negotiated adjustments enable healthier relationships across differing attachment preferences.
Read at Psychology Today
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