"Survivors of abandonment are often blamed for what was done to them, which can distort their understanding of the situation and reinforce feelings of shame. This victim-blaming can come from family, friends, and society, leading to a painful cycle of self-doubt and questioning."
"When Jarelle's parents cut her off completely, the focus shifted from their absence to questioning her actions. Instead of support, she faced inquiries about her efforts to maintain the relationship, which deepened her feelings of inadequacy and shame."
Survivors of abandonment frequently experience victim-blaming, which shifts responsibility from those who left to the individuals abandoned. This dynamic can distort their understanding of the situation and reinforce feelings of shame. Jarelle's experience illustrates this, as her parents distanced themselves after she set boundaries, leading to questions from others that implied her fault in the abandonment. Such blame can occur in adulthood, where societal assumptions often place responsibility on the abandoned individual rather than the abandoning party.
Read at Psychology Today
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