Want someone to change their behavior? Psychology says nagging doesn't work, but this mind trick does

""We have a perception that we won't get what we want from the other person, so we feel we need to keep asking in order to get it," psychologist Scott Wetzler explained to The Wall Street Journal. But rather than prompting change, nagging causes people to feel demeaned and withhold the desired behavior. The nagger then nags more and resentment builds."

"After years of low-level laundry conflict, I admit the last thing I feel inclined to do is thank my husband the one time in a dozen that his clothes end up in the hamper. But according to a new study out of the University of Toronto recently published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, when it comes to changing his behavior, gratitude would beat nagging."

People often assume repeated reminders will produce compliance, but repeated nagging typically backfires. Nagging makes recipients feel demeaned, prompts withholding of the desired behavior, and increases resentment, creating a cycle of repeated requests. Frequent nagging correlates with lower relationship satisfaction across romantic partnerships, parent-child interactions, cofounder relationships, and boss-employee dynamics. Experimental evidence from a University of Toronto study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin indicates that expressing gratitude for desired behaviors produces greater behavioral change than nagging. Gratitude leverages positive reinforcement and reduces defensive reactions, making it a more effective strategy for sustaining cooperative habits.

Read at Fast Company