Two Solutions for When You're Feeling Insecurely Attached

"When people are very high in avoidant attachment, they typically fear getting too close and want lots of space; people very high in anxious attachment usually fear being abandoned and want reassurance and more connection. Being high in either of these types of insecure attachment leads to more challenging and less satisfying relationships on average."

"For all of us, how much closeness we want shifts somewhat from hour to hour, or day to day. That said, many of us consistently feel that our partner is either too close or not close enough for comfort. Psychologists call these patterns avoidant and anxious attachment, respectively."

Romantic relationships require balancing closeness and distance, similar to finding a Goldilocks equilibrium. Attachment styles significantly influence this balance. Avoidantly attached individuals fear excessive closeness and prefer space, while anxiously attached individuals fear abandonment and seek reassurance and connection. These insecure attachment patterns create relationship challenges and reduce satisfaction. Research from daily diary studies reveals that different activities support different attachment styles. Avoidantly attached people experience improved relationship satisfaction after engaging in novel, exciting activities with partners. Conversely, anxiously attached people feel more secure and satisfied when participating in familiar, comfortable activities together. Understanding these distinctions helps couples navigate their attachment-related needs more effectively.

Read at Psychology Today