"Lately, I've noticed many silver-haired couples walking hand-in-hand down sidewalks, along boardwalks, and following trails. Most seem to have a lilt in their steps and sparkly eyes, almost like they're in love. I hope they are. I am. After three plus decades of marriage and five years of post- divorce online dating, I, too, feel a lightness and sparkle. It's seeped into my being over the past five years, and I'm more than a little goo-goo."
"One long-married couple I know in their seventies accepts her anxiousness when it arises, instead of covering it over or denying its presence. He's developed several small, effective ways to help ease her nervous system-with touch, a few soft-spoken words, a sweet leaning-in. She regains her center, knowing she's seen. I had never witnessed someone's anxiety integrated into a partnership, and I knew I could benefit from treatment like that someday, too."
Many older couples exhibit joyful, affectionate behavior that suggests enduring love. Online dating led to a later-life partnership that brought renewed lightness and spark. A healthy relationship requires early vulnerability and honest acceptance of each other as they are. Partners should identify differences and collaborate to accommodate priorities. Integrating a partner's anxiety through comforting touch and reassurance can restore emotional balance. Establishing an honesty pact and prioritizing the other's happiness equally or above one's own supports gradual blossoming of intimacy and the formation of a strong, lasting partnership.
Read at Psychology Today
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