The Problem With Treating Estrangement With Moral Certainty

"Recent media portrayals of family estrangement have sometimes trivialized the phenomenon, framing it as a generational fad or a product of social media-driven " boundary culture." Britt Frank's post, "The Dangers of Calling Family Estrangement a 'Trend,'" rightly challenges that caricature. Estrangement is typically not impulsive, and it often follows years of unresolved conflict or emotional pain. Yet in correcting one distortion, the post may introduce another-one that replaces oversimplification with moral certainty, and inquiry with a largely one-sided account of harm."

"Research does support the claim that estrangement often follows long-term relational strain rather than momentary disagreement. However, the literature does not support the implication that estrangement usually or primarily results from abuse, psychological harm, or chronic boundary violations. Studies of estranged families consistently find marked divergence in how parents and adult children interpret the same rupture (Carr et al., 2015)."

Research shows estrangement often follows long-term relational strain rather than impulsive decisions. The literature does not indicate that estrangement usually or primarily results from abuse, psychological harm, or chronic boundary violations. Studies find consistent divergence in how parents and adult children interpret the same rupture: adult children report emotional injury or lack of empathy, while parents report misunderstanding, value conflict, or external influences. Divergent narratives do not determine which account is accurate. Many estranged individuals describe trade-offs, gaining autonomy while experiencing loneliness, ambiguity, or moral uncertainty. Divergent accounts are not proof of parental deception, narcissism, or lack of empathy.

Read at Psychology Today