"Imagine this: You meet a dear friend for coffee. Then, near the top of the hour, you say, "This has been great, let me give you back seven minutes," and pack up to leave. Absurd, right? Yet at work, we do it all the time. Let me give you your time back might sound respectful, but it's never sat well with me. Here's why: It treats shared time as suspect, something to trim or apologize for."
"It's easy to mock meetings. We joke about "death by meeting," grumble that a meeting should've been an email, and wince at back-to-back-to-back days. This may be unpopular, but let's give credit to the brave souls who call meetings. Asking for them is vulnerable. Whether a regular meeting or spontaneous Zoom, a meeting request is a tender request: Will you trust me with your time?"
Shared time is a choice co-created by participants and should not be treated as something to be returned or trimmed. Requesting a meeting is a vulnerable appeal to others' limited time, and accepting an invitation is also a vulnerable act that requires presence and energy. Habitual practices like offering to give back minutes can imply that shared time is an imposition and erase the dignity of participation. Intentionally ending meetings and honoring both those who ask for time and those who give it strengthens trust, clarifies purpose, and changes how people move through shared time together.
Read at Psychology Today
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