"The songs, the sparkly lights, families coming together... everything says the holidays should be the most wonderful time of the year. But if you're dreading this period, plenty of other people are wondering the same thing: "Is it normal to dread the holidays?" You're rushing from one gathering to the next while trying to spend quality time with family. One minute, everyone's getting along fine, and the next, your preschooler refuses to thank Grandma for a gift, and there are hurt feelings on both sides."
"Why Setting Family Boundaries Feels So Hard During the Holidays When you think about setting boundaries with your mom, or telling your in-laws you won't be there for the holidays this year, what happens in your body? Maybe your throat tightens. Maybe your stomach clenches. Maybe you start thinking of all the reasons you should just go along with what they want. That reaction didn't come out of nowhere."
Holiday gatherings often force a clash between an individual's need for rest and others' expectations for connection and tradition. Rushing between events and managing family dynamics can produce exhaustion, frustration, and hurt feelings. Common triggers include relatives' unsolicited comments, disregarded requests about gift preferences, and partners expecting constant acquiescence. Physical reactions to boundary-setting—throat tightness, stomach clenching, or intrusive self-doubt—reflect learned conditioning rather than wrongdoing. Clear, communicated boundaries express personal needs when mutually satisfactory solutions are unavailable. Feeling guilt when setting different expectations indicates deviation from others' assumptions, not moral failure.
Read at Psychology Today
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