"Have you ever met someone who lights up a room with their kindness, yet somehow spends most weekends alone? I've been thinking about this contradiction a lot lately, especially after running into an old mentor who confessed, despite being one of the most generous people I know, that she hadn't had a real conversation with anyone in weeks. It's puzzling, isn't it? How can people who give so much of themselves end up with so little connection in return?"
"We kept saying we'd catch up "soon," but soon never came. Years passed, and suddenly we were strangers who happened to share a history. Warm people often rest on the laurels of past closeness, thinking that because they care deeply about someone, the relationship will survive on autopilot. But relationships are like gardens. Without regular tending, even the strongest connections wither. A birthday text once a year isn't enough to sustain the kind of friendship that shows up when life gets hard."
Warmth and generosity do not guarantee deep, lasting connections. People who are kind can still end up lonely because of unconscious habits that erode relationships. One habit is assuming long-standing friendships will maintain themselves without effort, leading to a slow drift from once-close companions. Another habit is over-giving to the point of burnout, which reduces availability and reciprocity. Relationships require regular, intentional tending rather than occasional check-ins; small gestures like a yearly birthday text are insufficient. Sustaining meaningful friendships demands proactive communication, mutual support, and boundaries to prevent exhaustion and preserve connection.
Read at Silicon Canals
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