"I'm wondering why you're doubting whether your wife is tired. Is there something about her or the history of your relationship that's leading you to this disbelief? Do you tend to think women are super-capable humans who can do it all, all at once? Even if you're handling half the household work and small human wrangling, and she's bounced back from pregnancy, she may have lower energy levels than you, have a harder time with early rising, or be less energized and rejuvenated by sex."
"Your wife isn't being unreasonable or unfair in saying she only wants to have sex on Fridays and Saturdays. But it's understandable that hearing that from her might evoke some feelings of loss and disappointment in you. I'd encourage you to think about what you really feel like you're losing and how you might be able to make up for that loss either on your own or with her."
A partner may limit sexual activity to Fridays and Saturdays because early-morning workdays leave them fatigued. Feeling accused or dismissed when a partner sets boundaries can cause loss and disappointment. Doubting fatigue may stem from assumptions about capability, postpartum recovery, unequal household labor, or differing energizing effects of sex. Consider identifying precisely what is being lost—frequency, spontaneity, intimacy—and ways to compensate individually or with the partner. Focus on controllable actions, open communication, negotiating schedules, testing alternatives, and addressing underlying resentments or workload imbalances to restore connection and fairness.
Read at Slate Magazine
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